As I write this, it is mostly just reflections and memories of certain moments in my life that for some unanswerable reason I remember. Most of these things don't make sense to me, and so I want to create this blog and hope it will lead me to some conclusion.
First, I'd like to state some things about myself. I talk, a lot. I think, from an outside perspective, that is the most prominent trate of myself. Unfortunately, that is not only the biggest trate, but the first to be shown. Most people meet me because I strike some sort of conversation that doesn't make any sense and people are taken aback. I'm generally a friendly person (haha I feel as though I'm writing an advertisement on myself) and I like to laugh a lot. I am very opinionated. I am writing this blog because there is one event that prominently changed my life. people only know so much about me. It is important to have secrets? well i have learnt not to trust those around you, but rather exposing your information to strangers so that they can judge freely and you cannot get hurt. Granted, if someone finds this who I do care about, I am in trouble.
I want to get around to actually explaining said event that changed my life completely. I fell in love. It might be cliche. I realize and understand that; I'm sorry if you're one of the people that cliches bother. I did not mean to insult you. Cliches bother me too. And that is why it is a challenge to write this; I realize my life is one big cliche. So finally, after a brief summary of myself (and it was very brief, but I hope the rest of the article has given you an idea of who I am), I am ready to get to the point.
A year and eight months ago I fell in love with a young girl, she is beautiful, smart, funny and friendly girl. It was a nice, happy love that really no one could match. she is younger than me. just like they say when you love someone, age, weight, height, distance is just a number
Some say she was too young to understand love. That is a desperate, untrue statement. People only state this because they themselves have not experienced such a strong, complex feeling that they can truly believe in.
It all started from a phone app, we where communicating with a chat app, while she was in high school and i was in collage, i was very much happy that i have a friend in that app chat but i was not really concentrating on her as much as i should, i just thought of her as an ordinary friend, as time passed i stared feeling comfortable with her ans slowly had feelings that a person have for someone special the we decided that it was time to meet for our first date, we all had it planed, but i was so nervous. when i first saw her waiting for me, i was like, OMG, she is beautiful with her cute smiles when she saw me coming out from the car and my heart started beating fast like a racing horse, yes my heart did beat fast and for some minuets i was speechless because and all i could do was look at her with my mouth open but it was really a happy day for me we had a great time together a day i will was remember, a day i first i kissed and hold her hand.
through time she became my straight ad i lost weakness because she is my straight that is why i never had weakness, and i ask my self how on earth did i get so lucky to have a girl like you, this how the sweet part of our long stories started, we decided to make it official, we could not hide the feelings anymore from each other, on weekend we could spend hours cuddling and talk about our future together how we want our life's to be, when we discuss plans for the future i was scared that she might have a different plan but everything she said was same as my future plans. i released how blessed i am to have her in my life, but before i fall in love with her i had apply to a university in Canada which i was accepted to study mechanical engineering, it was when i was newly in love with her that my parents payed for me to go to Canada but i had to disappoint my parent by telling them that i could not go that i am happy here i am now, how could i go miles away from the girl i love, i know some or all of you way say this guy is foolish forgiving away his chance just for a girl and love. well i am and was so much in love with her that i could give up and do anything to always be beside her. I was hers and she was mine. In my mind, we were the perfect couple and i thought she felt the same way. She told me the sweetest things. she said I was the best thing that ever happened to her, she couldn't imagine life without me. she told me she doesn't know what she did to deserve someone like me. Life was great. We were inseparable...or so i thought. Months passed, and we grew more and more apart. She became distant, started flirting with other guys. It broke my heart, tore me to shreds, and left me remains to decompose. In my mind, I believed I couldn't go on. I cried, i screamed. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't do anything. Well there is no more we...just me...alone in the dark world of depression and loneliness.
Her parents fount out about us, they where against the relationship because i am of a different race they think i was going to use there daughter and dump her, i understand what they feel, they tried everything to break us up but we never did, her parents threaten to do bad to me but she never gave up on me, they stop her from going back to school just keep her away from me and took her mobile but she found away to contact, i was living in fear and worried about her and my safety but i never gave up on her. they finally changed her to a different and distance school but we never stop loving her, we video everyday and chat everyday but the distance was killing us. she decided to lie to her parents that she broke up with me just to keep them away from us, but they where still watching her if she talks to me still.
After few months in her school she started acting different on me, when i try to find she told she was Okay, later then she told me she has a crush on a guy in her school but she need time from me to know what she want and she broke up with me, i could not take it, i was restless, could not sleep or eat, so i came up with a (what am about to say from here some of you will call me names for what i did but at the moment i was desperate to get my girl back which i later regret for doing it) the plan was to make he jealous and come cake to me, i had to create a fake facebook account with a female picture and i was using it to send my self facebook message and she has my facebook password, so when she goes in to my facebbook account she will see the message and will be jealous and it works and she came back to me saying she love me and was sorry.
few months later i found some changes in her again and she was now talking to another guy, when i ask her she said she has falling out of love for me, i was confused then i said why did you then pretend to love me all this time you should have informed me so we could find a solution together, so the night she said met with this other new guy and he kissed her and she wanted to breakup with me, i was really heart broken that i could no do anything but cry,i told her we to find the solutions to this, after hours of talking to her, then she said alright, few days later she changed even more than before and she refused to tell me things going on in her life, so i needed to find out things my self so i pretended to be a girl and chat with the guy that has been talking to her to get get some information but the guy found out what i was trying to do and told my her and she was really angry at me that she asked me if this was the same facebook i use sometime ago to make her believing she still love me and jealous i had to say the truth and she was angry and broke up with me because i used the facebook account to make her run back to me, there was nothing i could do but to apologize but she said it was too late, i cried and begged her, after several hours of talking we agreed to start all over again but she told me she likes the other guy that i will have to fight to win her back, after that i was really broken, i needed to find my self back, if i should let go or win her back. i was gone for one week, when i finally got the answer i wanted i came back but then she said it was too late the she is already into the other guy, but still i was hungry to win the love of my life back, i was not ready to back down when she is told me she will not love me again, those words made me hungry to win her love back.
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