I miss her

All this time, months apart ..I have missed her smile, the way she used to make me laugh just by being there, the way she made me fall in love with her without a single effort this is the only thing she was good at. Circumstances were tough and I could't be with her but also couldn't forget her. I have tried so many times but can't get her out of my mind cause every single detail in my daily life reminds me of her.

Sometimes I pretend being assertive and try to move on with my life but in vain. I always wonder what she is doing? who is she with? does she even miss me? these questions are killing me , her absence is killing me but I just can't call her and say those words to her there were times I dialed her number and tried to call but I failed miserably, I can"t confront her just can't. I know she is a good person but it just wasn't a good timing the whole world was against us and I didn't fight for us enough nor did she.

what hurts me the most is that I have never got the chance to tell her this, she left without a goodbye and never bothered to ask if I'm fine or not, If I'm still alive or not, maybe we're not meant to be together but it's tearing me apart. It's been  months now and I can't forget her and i keeping praying and hoping she comes back home to me. she is always with me. I always feel her close to me. She is the best thing ever happened to me but everything was quick it's like everything occurred in a blink of an eye and the worse thing is that I realized that I love her after leaving each other and I wanted that. I wanted some time to think and clear my mind. I regret for going away for one week it hurt so bad,  I'm in pain right now I feel that my heart is torn apart and I hurt myself a lot trying to put it all back together. My life is empty, my heart is empty and I don't know how to heal I don't know how to move on and let her go. I'm fed up trying over and over and failing. I want my life back, i want her back ..